About

Hi there! I’m Dr. Lily Zehner. You can call me Lily, Dr. Zehner, Dr. Lily, Dr. Z, Doc, so forth. I do not have an attachment to my professional title once I’ve been introduced-- I mean, I did bust my rump for these credentials and it feels especially important to be seen as a Cuban woman with a doctorate, representation matters!

Before I go on, I think what is most important to know about me is that I show up very human in and out of my office. I lead with my humanity which means you will not be sitting across from a blank slate. I laugh and cry, I am touched more often than not by the stories I hear and get to be a part of. And quite frankly, I believe my humanity is my biggest asset in my work, not my various degrees.

With that, I am a quirky, queer, introverted Cuban mama, wife, and femme. I can be very loud– I grew up in a Deaf household, so noise control wasn’t a thing, oh and I cuss, because again, growing up in a Deaf household, no one ever told me not to say $%^@! I also need lots of quiet, how’s that for a juxtaposition?! I am in active recovery of my eating disorder. I am an ongoing work in progress doing my own personal and relational therapy to ensure I am continually learning and growing.

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EDUCATION

I hold a Doctor of Education (EdD) in Human Sexuality and a Doctor of Human Sexuality (DHS) from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California. I graduated with honors with my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy from Regis University in Denver, Colorado. I also hold a Bachelors of Arts in Behavioral Sciences with a minor in Elementary Education from Metropolitan State University of Denver.

MORE ABOUT ME

I am a voracious reader and my library card is one of my most prized possessions (truly!) and being surrounded by my ever-growing book collection makes me so happy!

I cannot fake laugh, which can make for awkward moments, and when I do laugh, it is loud and with my whole body. Laughter will be a present part of our work. In fact, during quarantine while working from my home office, my husband one day told me, “You laugh a lot in your sessions!” which at first made me self-conscious, but then I quickly realized what a positive this is: humor can and does help lighten things when it is really hard and therapy can be hard.

I am a mama to two amazing kiddos. I too am trying to figure out how to break intergenerational cycles, to do better, to maintain secure attachments with my children; to integrate all parts of me, never leaving behind my scared, wounded younger parts of myself. I am married to my sweetie whom—equal parts—I adore and am annoyed by, working to stay connected with him amidst this busy life!

I am an identical twin, and yes we look alike, and you may run into her one day! Many of my clients have run into her and thankfully she’s gotten real good at recognizing quickly that you think she’s me and will clarify for you!

I am a resource giver– I want people to know about other people, to have access to information they may not find on their own, sharing whatever I may know of or have access to myself. Resources are life savers and connectors.

I am sex positive and affirming. I believe you when you tell me who you are. I trust that you know better than me or anyone else. I hope I create a space that feels safe enough to get to know all of you.

And how can I forget my lifelong love of shoes?! It’s amazing what a fabulous stiletto or chuck can do for my spirit!

In the end, I will bring my whole self to each session with you, to work to create a secure attachment with you, to be accessible, responsive, and engaged (don’t worry, we’ll cover this in session!) I will work to create a space in which you feel safe enough to be yourself and laugh, to be able to do the deep work.

I look forward to connecting with you soon!