Hi there. I'm Dr. Lily.
You can call me Lily, Dr. Zehner, Dr. Lily, Dr. Z, Doc, so forth. I don't have an attachment to my professional title once I've been introduced — though I did bust my rump for these credentials, and it feels especially important to be seen as a Cuban woman with a doctorate. Representation matters.
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Before I go on, I think what's most important to know about me is that I show up very human in and out of my office. I lead with my humanity, which means you will not be sitting across from a blank slate.
I laugh and I cry. I'm touched more often than not by the stories I hear and get to be a part of. And quite frankly, I believe my humanity is my biggest asset in my work — not my various degrees.
A quirky, queer, introverted Cuban mama
Wife and femme, too. I can be very loud — I grew up in a Deaf household, so noise control wasn't a thing. Oh, and I cuss, because again: growing up in a Deaf household, no one ever told me not to say $%^@!
I also need lots of quiet. How's that for a juxtaposition?
I'm in active recovery from my eating disorder. I'm an ongoing work in progress, doing my own personal and relational therapy to make sure I'm continually learning and growing.
More about me
- I'm a voracious reader, and my library card is one of my most prized possessions. Truly. Being surrounded by my ever-growing book collection makes me so happy.
- I cannot fake laugh. When I do laugh, it's loud and with my whole body. Laughter will be a present part of our work — humor helps lighten things when it's really hard, and therapy can be hard.
- I'm a mama to two amazing kiddos. I'm also trying to figure out how to break intergenerational cycles, to do better, to never leave behind my scared, wounded younger parts.
- I'm married to my sweetie whom — equal parts — I adore and am annoyed by, working to stay connected with him amidst this busy life.
- I'm an identical twin. Yes, we look alike, and you may run into her one day. She's gotten real good at recognizing when you think she's me.
- I'm a resource giver. I want people to have access to information they may not find on their own. Resources are life savers and connectors.
And how could I forget my lifelong love of shoes?
It's amazing what a fabulous stiletto — or a pair of Chucks — can do for my spirit.
Education
I hold a Doctor of Education (EdD) in Human Sexuality and a Doctor of Human Sexuality (DHS) from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, California.
I graduated with honors with my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy from Regis University in Denver, Colorado, and I hold a Bachelor of Arts in Behavioral Sciences with a minor in Elementary Education from Metropolitan State University of Denver.
What I'll bring
I'm sex positive and affirming. I believe you when you tell me who you are. I trust that you know yourself better than I do, or anyone else does.
In the end, I will bring my whole self to each session with you — to work to create a secure attachment with you, to be accessible, responsive, and engaged. Don't worry, we'll cover what that means in session.
I will work to create a space in which you feel safe enough to be yourself and to laugh, and safe enough to do the deep work.
I look forward to connecting with you soon.
Start with a free 15-minute consultation
We'll talk about what's going on and whether I'm the right fit for you. If I'm not, I'll point you toward someone who is. No pressure, no paperwork, no cost.
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