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Update: a note on my silence


Hi there!

I hope this blog finds you well. I write to say hello and to acknowledge my silence. It’s been silent over here for 3 months and for good reason—I am expecting my first child!

A week after my last blog went out, I discovered my husband and I were going to be parents. And then two days later my non-stop nausea began. These last three months have been a new and radical exploration of self-care. I have had to slow waaaayyy down. I have had to tune into my body in new and deeper ways. I have had to say NO when I really wanted to say YES, because it was what Little (this is what we are calling baby for now) and my body needed.

As my brain begins to catch up with my body, I am able to cope and manage my non-stop nausea better—I have come to accept this as my new normal and with my knowledge of my limits, I can—most of the time—keep my nausea from getting worse. And thankfully pregnancy brain doesn’t wreak havoc as much anymore (the numerous stories of me standing at a check-out line trying to not only process what the cashier is saying, but attempting to do math is both comical and telling of where I have been at mentally).  I am deeply grateful that my time in session with clients, in my cozy office in my beloved chair is where I feel most normal, most like myself—this work has been a grounding force as everything else in my life and being is shifting and evolving.

My husband I have been adjusting as well. We have found that pregnancy and my nausea have brought with it many opportunities to communicate our needs, to support one another, to connect on a deeper more intimate level, and to soak up our final months as two (in the flesh, certainly Little is already a part of each and every day while in womb)—essentially to continue the practice of our marriage.

All of this to say, I am here. I am slowly returning to writing and speaking again. In fact, next week I have two interviews that I will be sharing with you in the coming weeks. One will be focusing on my “why” of practicing as a therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy, and relationships on the True Calling Podcast with John Harrison. My other interview is part of a larger online interview series with Robyn D’Angelo on “How to Love Your Partner: Mastering the Messiness of Couplehood Together”. I will be discussing “How to Love Your Sexually Unavailable Partner”. I am so looking forward to participating in both and I hope you’ll listen in.

I appreciate your support virtually, energetically, and in person. I hope to write and share more in the coming months, we shall see as I continue to evolve and shift.

Until next time,

headshotAbout the Author:

Dr. Lily A. Zehner, MFT-C is a therapist who specializes in sex, intimacy, and relationships. Her private practice is located in Denver where she helps others connect emotionally, sensually, and intimately. To learn more about her and her services, please feel free to take a look around her website.

About the Author